As a little boy raised in the church, I was often confused by the words of certain songs. For instance, whenever the song 'Bringing in the Sheaves' was sung, I thought we were singing about bringing in the 'sheeps.' I always wondered where we would get these 'sheeps' and why we wanted to bring them in anyway. Spiritual themes, whether spoken or sung, can easily confuse the simple mind of a child, and while I learned quite early that 'sheeps' is not even a word, the topic of God's will continued to be a point of confusion for a long time. I remember another song we used to sing, usually after a missionary had told depressing stories about the hardships and toils of the mission field:
Jesus, use me. Oh Lord, don't refuse me;
Surely there's a work that I must do.
And even though it's humble, help my will to crumble,
Though the cost be great, I'll work for You.
As wonderful as those words are in and of themselves, there was something about the combination of the lyrics, the music, and the context that made me afraid of God's will for my life. I thought He must have something simply dreadful for me to do. I just knew He was going to send me deep into the jungle where I would live in a mud hut, survive on a diet of grubs, and wind up being eaten by cannibals. Looking back, my naïveté is quite amusing now, but the reality is that many people really are afraid to discover God's will for their lives, even if subconsciously. They think, 'What if God wants me to do something I don't want to do?' 'What if God wants me to do something I'm not good at?' 'What if doing God's will means I have to give up my hopes and dreams?' I think sometimes people haven't discovered God's will simply because they are afraid to.